5 Moving Stories About Moving
We've all heard people say "Just act like you're moving" in order to inspire a more ruthless decluttering episode. Though I like that frame of mind, it's hard to fake unless you have a real move date on the calendar. I've seen people unleash Herculean strength when faced with a move, letting go of unthinkable items with unthinkable speed. All have survived and all have been better for it!
Once, I worked with a man who was moving out-of-state and needed to empty out and sell his house of about 25 years within a few months. He had raised his kids in this house and was downsizing to a single room AirBnb while finishing out his job before he could join his wife in another state. They wanted to start fresh with no storage units and they pulled it off! (We enlisted the help of MaxSold to bundle and sell off the loose ends that were too hard to drive to the thrift store.)
I had a client this year who was eager to move out of the country but within under a month needed to empty a storage unit with items from his pre-divorce life as well as his current condo. With 4 lists of what to bring on the plane, what to sell, what to donate, and what to store for moving later (if anything), he was able to forge ahead and free himself for a future overseas.
I had a client who was downsizing and and was given the task of doing it without help from her busy (though very loving!) husband. Most of the items in the large home were from his life with his late wife of 30+ years. She/we had to make some tough executive decisions from the office to the crawl spaces to the closets in order to not have an item out of place in their new, much smaller, home. Countless gorgeous items were donated and gifted to family and the new home is a beautiful one that represents their life together.
I've worked with a number of seniors who were downsizing into a retirement community or assisted living. One such client was living with boxes up the walls in her one bedroom apartment because not enough decluttering was done on the front end of moving out of her 3 bedroom home. When we started, she had just a skinny path from the door to the armchair (no room for a couch)! While it was fun learning about her life and her late husband, and guessing from what room and shelf each box came from, she had one of the more daunting impasses I've been faced with. I still have fond memories of how she slowly tarted each session with making me tea and chatting while gearing up for the task at hand.
Currently, I'm helping a client I've known since 2012 move from her home of a decade. In most cases people are moving because they want to. In this case, it's a necessity, not a choice. She (and I) still can't believe she's leaving, but know that by year's end her life will look quite different. It's a slight downsize to another beautiful home, but is still fraught with emotion. She told me this week that she started a list of what to look forward to in the next condo: one of the best rooftops in the city, a terrace, a fresh start with interior design, she can teach yoga in this new building, and more. I LOVE that she is doing that in the midst of moving chaos. With all the help in the world, each tough decision is still hers to make.
We've spent many sessions cutting down her beloved book collection (above). We did this years ago when she wanted to "Kondo" her books, and did so successfully. I can tell she feels like she's saying goodbye forever to a best friend with most of the books she's parting with! But, she's DOING IT. We're at 27 boxes and counting. See above. (We've settled on selling/donating them through Sharon Bliss of Bliss Books here in DC.) I asked my client if, hypothetically, she were to receive news that she didn’t have to move, are there any books she would take out of the boxes. Her answer: “No.”
Moves can be excruciating, cathartic, liberating, thrilling, and everything in-between. It's equal parts logistics and emotion. Even with months of planning and a team in place, it takes its toll and sometimes bleeds into your post-move life for years to come. I've had a few jobs where upon the day one tour, the new client tells me that there are boxes to deal with from the move - and the move was 10 years ago!
What does a successful, stress-free as possible move look like? Instead of a checklist of what to bring and what to toss, I want you to know just three things:
1. Adopt a mindset of life is working out for me. If you trust that generally, life is moving in the right direction, then you will see the move as a blessing, even if it seems like a temporary setback. (Some people need to be reminded of this more than others.) If reminding yourself that the move is a blessing, then the essential part of letting go will be that much easier.
2. Let go on the front end of the move! Never assume that it will be easier on the other end. In nearly twenty years of organizing (and with dozens of moves under my belt), I've never had anyone say after a move, "I'm so glad I still have all of this to sort!" Watch my video Should you get organized before or after a move? from 2014!
3. Start now, no matter the move date. Instead of acting as if you're going to move, know that you likely will move, even if not for years or decades. With every item you own, ask yourself if it would make the cut during a move. With every purchase you make, imagine carefully boxing up that item for a move. Can you picture it? Is it worth it?
Moves are on my mind because I'm in the middle of a big one with a client, AND because I'm a part of The Moving Summit taking place November 11-13. I was one of 25 experts interviewed as part of a virtual event focusing exclusively on preparing an organized, seamless move. In about 45 minutes we covered how to pack papers for a move, discard papers for a move, how to organize important move-related papers in a home that is being dismantled, and more! Click here to sign up to watch my interview and more. Mine airs on November 12 and will be accessible for free for 24 hours. If you want lifelong access to the interviews as well as a ton of bonus from the speakers, you'll want to sign up for the All Access Pass. (Early bird rates are available through Tuesday the 10th!)
