7 things I learned about organizing in 2019
2019 marks my eighteenth year as a professional organizer and the eighth year in a row that I’ve reflected on what I learned as a professional organizer in the past year. I am sure to never repeat a lesson from a previous year. I take loose notes throughout the year and in December, just pack meat on the bones. This too was a year full of discoveries in a field of work that is ripe with new discoveries! Here is what I learned about organizing in 2019:
1. Stuck? Just ask "why?"
In all my years of being an organizer, I feel like I’ve only recently become good at being direct by simply asking “why” when someone has a perplexing habit or is moving more slowly than they’d like. One client explained that he hadn’t accomplished what he had hoped to since our last call. (He’s a virtual client.) His #1 goal between our last few calls had been to take a load of already set-aside items to the thrift store. Call after call this wasn’t getting done. The hard work of sorting the items out had been done, the driving of the things to the thrift store was seemingly the easy part. I was a little nervous about being so direct, but I flat out asked him “Why?”.
His answer was that he had been preoccupied with a very complicated personal matter - one that I was aware of. Now we were in a place to make some movement. My reply: “What if [complicated personal matter] is never resolved? Does life stop? Do you keep breaking agreements with yourself?” He really appreciated this question, though I don’t remember exactly how he responded. I went on: "Load up the car as much as you can, but even if it's just a small bag or box, that's good too. We're not trying to clean out the whole house, just trying to pave the way between your home and the thrift store.”
The heart of the matter of the stuck thrift store bags had been addressed. Honestly, I’m not sure if the bags were ever taken out, as his plan was then to donate them “tomorrow,” and I haven’t heard from him since, but I like to think that in addressing the real “why,” he could get to the heart of the matter in other areas of his life.
Another time I asked “Why?” (and this time I know it was instantly fruitful) was with a client who had plastic bags full of paper scattered around her house: in her her living room, dining room, basement, and more.
After working with her multiple times to empty the bags, I simply asked her why she likes plastic bags so much. She said, “Oh, I had never thought about what else to use!” She was aware that those bags weren’t doing her any favors. In our work together I gave her plenty of better options for receipts, tax papers, medical papers and more: box lids, small file boxes, binders, and more. Anything was better than just hiding important papers in plastic shopping bags, and she got it! “No more plastic bags” became her motto this year.
2. Just because you have a reason to keep something, doesn’t make it a good reason.
This year wasn’t the first time I uttered the words, “That’s a reason, but not a good reason,” but it was the first time I realized how powerful that statement can be. A new client was clear on the fact that what she needed most was permission. She was thiiiiis close to letting go of so much paper, but still needed permission from the expert to make it happen.
When we got to her years’ worth of credit reports, she asked me if she needed them. My answer: “You tell me - why might you need them in the future?” She answered: “I guess I might want to track my credit scores over time.” I told her, “Well, that’s a reason, but not a good reason.” She was elated! She dropped the credit scores right into the shred box.
3. Using tell-it-like-it is language works when labeling to-dos.
Did she really put that on a folder label? was a post I wrote that introduced something that I’d been doing with clients for years but not as explicitly as I did after reading Robyn Scott’s Why making my tasks emotional increased my productivity.
Sometimes in organizing one’s to-dos, summing up the sometimes messy drama of our lives in a neat little label such as “To Call” or “To Decide On” is too sanitized to inspire one into action.
This year I had more than a couple clients who benefited from more emotional labels, particularly with their to-dos. Some results were:
This sucks! I don’t want to do it!
Keeping a roof over my head
Supremely satisfying
Indulgent
If you suspect you need a little more tell-it-like-it-is in sorting your to-dos, read both my post and Scott’s post on how to do this.
4. What we’d pay today for an item we own is a helpful question to ask when letting go.
In my post Two questions to ask when letting go of something valuable I shared a helpful lesson from Psychology Today. In it, Physician Austin Perlmutter explains three cognitive traps we commonly fall into when placing value on things we own. These can make letting go perplexingly hard. Amongst these traps is the "Endowment Effect.” This was news to me:
“Look around at some of the things you own, and ask how much you would sell them for. Now ask yourself how much you’d be willing to pay for the same object. The difference can be shocking, and it’s a powerful tool in helping you let go of less important possessions.” - Austin Perlmutter M.D., Psychology Today
I’m yet to actually use this question in an organizing session, but hope to remember it when it can make a difference.
Read both my post and Psychology Today’s How cognitive traps make it harder to let go of our stuff.
5. The organizing process is a self-discovery tool
Years ago a friend of a friend would have the same reply to anyone’s stories of woe, struggle, complaint, bad news, etc. She’d ask, “What did you learn about yourself?” I loved it, but bugged our mutual friend to no end. If choosing to see a silver lining in struggle, one such lining can be that we learn something new about ourselves.
When at a client's dining table this year, going through her to-do lists for the umpteenth time, I could tell she was feeling the weight of so much re-written and undone. I started thinking out loud:
“There’s nothing like sorting old to-do lists to learn about yourself - the things you value, the things you aspire to do, the person you aspire to be, the things you put off, the things that pain you.”
We paused and talked about this for a bit. She realized that these to-do lists weren’t just reminders of habits that were hard to break, but they begged some questions that could help her in ways that transcend her to-do lists. Why do I put off what I put off? Why do I give myself so much to do? Why do I spend so much time trying to improve things that are really ok as they are?
Organizing is all about patterns: patterns in the things we collect, yet-to-be-discovered patterns in how we should keep things, and recognizing patterns in our own behaviors. When faced with a closet full of too many clothes, a floor full of too much clutter, or a countertop full of too much paper, ask yourself what does this teach you about you? Go easy on yourself and resist the easy, self-deprecating answer. You may learn something
6. Clutter is privilege
Never have I received so many replies to a post as I did to Is clutter privilege? (Most were emailed, so you won’t necessarily see them in the comments.) The overarching sentiments were that it was thought-provoking, and that yes, clutter (and minimalism) is privilege. Phew! I was afraid I might offend some people, but couldn’t not share my reflections on The Atlantic’s Marie Kondo and the privilege of clutter. Clients, fellow organizers, and readers I’ve never met all paused to answer this question for themselves.
Read both my post and Marie Kondo and the privilege of clutter.
7. He who can stay on top of the paper wins.
The unlikeliest place for insight on paper organizing was where I shared a line from a non-fiction book on Bombay, India that so succinctly (and surprisingly) hit the nail on the head about why this very niche work of organizing paper matters. At the end of Maximum City, Suketu Mehta wrote:
“Surviving in a modern country involves dealing with an immense amount of paper. He who can stay on top of the paper wins.”
- Author Suketu Metha on returning to life in the United States after living abroad in Bombay
Yes, getting on top of your paper matters. Yes, the little stuff weighs us down in big ways. Yes, order = freedom. I always knew this, but wasn’t sure the rest of the world knew this as deeply as I do. I was overjoyed to see these words, and overjoyed to talk to Mehta about this at a friend’s dinner party within weeks of reading it.
What did you learn about organizing (or yourself in light of organizing) in 2019? Please share in the comments!
