8 things I learned about organizing in 2022
2022 was my 21st year as a Professional Organizer and this is my 11th year-end post! 21 years in, I'm still learning so much - more than I can ever collect here with these annual round-ups. This work still warms my heart, expands my mind, makes me laugh, and exposes me to the human experience. Thank you to all of my clients who let me into your lives! It's my pleasure. Scroll to the bottom for previous years’ “Things I Learned” year-end post. Below are 8 of the things I learned about organizing in 2022, in no particular order.
Oh, and the above picture is from early December when my sister and I surprised our mom with a trip to Paris for her 80th birthday! We didn't see the sun the entire time, but enjoyed each moment to the fullest. Apparently I can live off of Chablis and oysters. What a way to end an already glorious year. Click here for more Paris photos.
1. CONVERSATIONS VS. CONTAINERS: THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF PROFESSIONAL ORGANIZERS
Early in the year I had a conversation with a prospective new client. She shared with me that she had unsuccessfully worked with a Professional Organizer in the past. My question in response: "Did they do more telling than asking?" She answered "Yes." Sometimes clients do just want to be told what to do. I'll never forget a client's response to my asking him which section of his files he'd like to sort next. Facing decision fatigue, he said, "Kacy, just tell me what to do." In that moment I learned that some clients want firm guidance more than a therapy session. I can spot that now. Over the years, I've come to notice though that the type of person who calls me most often is someone who benefits most from the introspective side of our work. And oftentimes people want both!
This year I realized that my secret sauce is my questions more than my answers. If I'm out of ideas, I ask questions. If my client is stuck, I ask questions. When we start any session, I ask questions. The client may have never been asked "Of all your projects, which weighs on you the most?" or "What are your hesitations around throwing this away?" or "Can you think of a reason you'd want to use/wear this again?" These answers lead us to the right next step.
This realization led me to utter something for the first time this year: "Conversations vs. Containers." I think there are at least two types of Professional Organizers (thank goodness!): those who focus on conversations and those who focus on containers. I can measure a closet or dozens of kitchen drawers to outfit - and I pull it off beautifully, but honestly, it still makes me nervous. Give me a person who feels powerless over their paper or stuff, and I know the way to help them is with words, not a measuring tape.
2. THE SANDWICH GENERATION PARTICULARLY SUFFERS FROM TOO MUCH PAPER.
Often a paper problem is a symptom of a greater burden. I can think of at least four women I worked with this year who were managing their aging (or recently passed) parents' lives - and paper. It revealed to me the paper underbelly of an emotional and taxing situation. In addition to chartering new territory for their parents' wellbeing - sometimes even out-of-state - they have to manage all of their parents' paper too. Even if their own lives were in perfect order (and who's is?) processing someone else's bills, invoices, receipts, scary IRS mail, personal correspondence, scribbled lists, and medical records is beyond anyone's pay grade. Though the work of keeping Mom & Dad's affairs in order remained after the last document was filed, getting it all in order improved both theirs and their parents' lives. This photo is a peek into one of the systems I created for one such client.
3. SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE BETWEEN WHAT YOU LIKE AND WHAT YOU LIKE.
This year a certain struggle was illuminated for me. Apparently many of my clients feel this way, but haven't been able to put it into words:
"Sometimes you have to choose between what you like and what you like."
This came up during a Team Organize session that I was running. When I heard a member say this, it stopped me in my tracks and I had her repeat it. What a brilliant observation. Click here for my full blog post on the agony of parting with something that you still like. Unfortunately, it's not always about like vs don't like! If only it were that easy...
4. IT'S NOT THEIR STUFF ANYMORE. IT'S YOUR STUFF.
Many a-ha moments were had during Team Organize sessions. Another was had when one woman was sharing about how she inherited a lot of her mother's things after she passed. Already struggling with managing her own items, she then was faced with making space for her mother's items. Naturally, it wasn't easy to quickly decide what stays and what goes. She had a breakthrough when a visiting care assessor said to her:
"It's not your mom's stuff. It's your stuff."
Sit with that for a moment. As an Organizer, sometimes I can give people succinct, tough love, and sometimes I just can't - not everyone is ready for it. In this case, she was ready for this observer's words so they landed. Ours was a short conversation so we didn't get to the details of what exactly happened with the stuff in the weeks that followed, but I do know that those words echo to this day and were a turning point in her journey with her mom's things. If you too are having trouble processing a late loved-one's items, please realize that the items now are yours. Claiming this can help you to see more clearly what's worth keeping in your life.
5. “SETTING THE TABLE” CAN BE A PART OF THE ORGANIZING PROCESS.
Something I heard myself say a lot this year during client sessions was "Set the table." This was a product of realizing that a lot of people need to stage an area before they dig in to sort and edit. A couple of clients and Team Organize members were in situations where they had family members suddenly moving in with them or emergency renovations coming up. They had the willingness and motivation to sort "the right way" by completing the purge where it was, but time was not on their side. Faced with hiding it in a closet or on another floor, they feared its' lurking presence or forgetting about it altogether. They wanted to know if it was possible to shove it all into another room with some rhyme and reason.
As I was giving advice on how to do this with big labels between piles or crude sorts into bins, I often said, "What you'll be doing is setting the table. Your future self who will have time to do the tough work will thank you for it." You'll be grateful to find a bin of memorabilia that is not mixed in with bills or home purchase docs. You'll be delighted to find a box of office supplies that aren't mixed-in with bath products or magazines.
I think people worry that if they can't go from A to Z in one sitting then they are somehow cheating or losing. They (rightfully so) worry that if the clutter stash is shoved away then they will forget about it. This worry, coupled with grand visions of it being 100% done ASAP, can keep us from acting at all. There is a happy medium and I call it "setting the table." When life forces you to act on its' timeline, not yours, there is always room to do it without sheer chaos. This usually means crude sorts into clearly labeled existing or new containers. Later when you have the time, you can cherry pick which time capsule you want to tackle without fear of opening Pandora's boxes. Let setting the table be a step in the right direction, not a failure.
6. I CAN ORGANIZE ON A VERY LARGE SCALE.
This summer I was asked to help an international nonprofit with a local move here in DC. Not only are they moving, but they are moving from eight stories to two! They currently occupy about 250,000 square feet and have occupied the building for 30 years. They have offices and workspaces for about 500 staff plus a couple dozen storage and file rooms. To pull this off within a year, we had to mastermind a plan that was full of firsts for the Facilities team, the staff, and me. We created timelines, sign-up forms, color-coding systems, decision trees, signage, model offices, communications, role definitions, orientations for teams, processes for donating items within the company, guidance on records retention, status trackers for every office, & storage room, infrastructure for project management software...and so much more.
Thanks to a phenomenal Facilities team and a long runway of planning, we're currently in the process of pulling this off; the machine we built is working! It is proving to be such gratifying work. I love filling dozens of recycling bins in just hours, and also watching people collaborate in processing space that has been their home away from home for much of their careers. At the end of the day, it's still an individual process - just hundreds of them at once! One person told me, "I've been a part of a LOT of corporate moves and this one is the most organized I've ever witnessed." I overheard another say, "I'm kind of enjoying this - I'm not going to lie." It isn't my first corporate purge or move, but it is my largest. This one will be hard to beat. Here is a set of photos from a similar, smaller project this year. If you have a corporation or organization that is right-sizing office space post-Covid, contact me to see if my team and I can help.
7. ORGANIZING CAN SIMULTANEOUSLY MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD AND WANT TO CRY.
"It makes be want to cry but it feels good" was one of the most poignant observations voiced by my clients this year. This particular client said this as as she was boxing up some of her late mother's serving pieces for donation. It wasn't an easy decision to let go of these items, even though she absolutely never used them. She did it though because she knew it was the right decision for her. Read my full post on How to Move Through Your Decisions When Decluttering. In it is also a story about one client who processed guilt as we were decluttering. This was one of my most popular posts of the year.
8. WORKING WITH A PROFESSIONAL ORGANIZER REQUIRES BEING "OPEN TO BEING HELPED."
It's a great joy of mine to bear witness to my clients' emotions and observations as we work together. I have a client who I've been working with regularly since January 2022. I came into her life after a number of major moves, health struggles/triumphs, and ventures into capturing her professional life's work into a book. About a couple dozen sessions in she said that she had learned that part of her journey towards living a lighter life was becoming "open to being helped." It can take a dose of surrender and humility to bring an Organizer into your private life. That is never lost on me, so it was downright heartwarming to hear the client's side of that process put into words.
If you're open to being helped in 2023, my team members and I would love to provide that help. Please contact me!
