Define (and find) work-life balance
This week I gave a talk on work-life balance to a team in Afghanistan - virtually of course! This was a new speaking topic for me. Corralling the lessons into a presentation made me realize how much this topic is woven into my day-to-day work with clients. In many cases, they want to organize their paper and office so they can work less, spend more time with loved-ones and regain healthy habits. Escaping work isn't the whole story though; enjoying your work is also a major piece of work-life balance.
I honestly had trouble defining "work-life balance." In researching the topic, I came to like most definitions I read and appreciated that they are vastly different, as they should be! There is something here for everyone, which encourages the need to define "work-life balance" for ourselves. The 4 definitions below I shared in the talk and will get you started. I've added 4 decisions you can make throughout the day to find that balance:
1. Delegate more personal workload to spouses (usually to the men)
"Women are often the default chore-doers and child-tenders, even in relationships that strive for egalitarianism." - The Atlantic, Give up on Work-Life Balance: Despite the pressure to have it all, many workers still feel they are failing both in the office and at home
I was so fortunate to have read Drop the Ball by Tiffany Dufu the same year I got married. I'm also fortunate to have a husband who I don't hesitate to delegate to - cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking, budgeting, and more (we don't have kids). As if women weren't already aware of the imbalances at home, they will be fired up about them in a hot, new, scorching way after reading Dufu's book. BUT, it comes with a strong message for women to become ok with dropping the ball (and explains where it's ok to do that) and a full toolbox of ways to communicate our needs at home so they are heard. Dufu illustrates the "emotional burden" placed on women in a powerful way. Please watch this video of Tiffany Dufu speaking about her book.
Decision: Can I delegate this home or family-based task, even if I've always done it?
2. Seasons
Brad Stulberg, author of The Passion Paradox, sees balance in terms of “seasons,” rather than hours in the day.
He says, “There might be a season where you’re writing a book, and that’s the thing. There might be a season when you’re starting a family. There will probably be fewer productive hours at the keyboard during the family season, and fewer boozy brunches during the book season, and that’s okay"
Decision: What season am I in? During the day, what do I say "no" to in order to support that season?
3. A fulfilling life outside of work
Author and work-life balance crusader Brigid Schulte, defines work-life balance as "The ability to work effectively and have time for a fulfilling and healthy life outside of work." Learn more in her book Work, Love, & Play When No One Has the Time
Decision: What are the personally fulfilling activities and habits that I wish I had more time for? Am I willing to sacrifice time-sucking bad habits to make time for these?
4.. Achievement vs. enjoyment
Jim Bird, Founder of worklifebalance.com teaches that work-life balance shouldn't just be viewed as the expected business vs. personal dynamic, but rather, in terms of achievement vs. enjoyment. He says. "Achievement and Enjoyment are the front and back of the coin of value in life. You can’t have one without the other, no more than you can have a coin with only one side." This definition was an ah-ha for me. I learned about it in this article by Jim.
Decision: What about the work right in front of me is enjoyable?
