[Video] 3 rules for organizing someone else's stuff (without ticking them off)

Though the vast amount of my time spent organizing is alongside the client, occasionally I sort solo if a client simply can’t be with me throughout the entire process. There are also cases when we sort items and papers of a client’s loved one without them being present.

You too may have found yourself in a position where you need to (or just really want to!) organize for someone who isn’t physically involved for any number of reasons.  Your greatest fear may be that you’ll royally tick that person off if they realize you tossed that beloved or important thing.

I remember the first time I organized solo. It was for a consultant in his DC office. Though he knew he had to get his paper in order, the thought of it repelled him. I only interfaced with him briefly once every few visits. Though he didn’t ask for it, I regularly texted him photos and questions throughout the day; I wanted him involved in my decisions. The system needed to be something he understood and I wanted to make sure I wasn't tossing anything essential. Essential docs don't always scream "keep me!" to the naked eye.

Sometimes you aren’t able to involve the person in real time. Or, if their involvement happens at all, it has to wait until after you’ve done the big sort. Even with their permission, the only way it’s ever going to get done is if you do nearly all of it yourself.

This can be an extremely effective and conflict-free process if:

1. You know they won’t be livid with you rummaging around in their business. This is the most important rule.

2. You make it color-by-numbers simple, spoon-feeding them just a few thoughtfully sorted categories. If they won't be with you for this part, leave them simple sticky notes such as "Pre-2024 Visa statements. Probably trash" or "Sorted school papers. Edit further before I store them".

3. You give them the final say before tossing a thing. From experience, know that chances are high they’ll ok your “Probably Trash” pile. The trust gained with this step is essential.

All three of these applied when I took it upon myself to thin out my husband's papers from a house he sold about 15 years ago. He always said he’d “get around to it.” Sound familiar? After I whittled it down to just a few documents (folder is pictured at the very end of the video), he was so pleased. He even voiced something I suspected all along: “I was just keeping those for nostalgia, but didn’t know exactly what I wanted.”

This isn’t meant to be a video on what to keep and not to keep regarding old real estate docs, as your retention needs may differ. Rather, think of it as a dummy category that shows you how to do this for someone else who just can’t/won’t “get around to it.”

Do you have any experience with this - good or bad?  Do you have someone whose things you’re dying to sort? Please leave a comment!

Watch How to Organize Someone Else’s Stuff.