6 lines to repeat as you are organizing on your own
I once saw steady breathing return to a frazzled organizing client’s face after I unknowingly created a mantra for her on the spot. She was readying her house to be sold and could barely stomach the work that had to be done, let alone explain it to me. As we walked from room to room I simply stated:
“I see three categories of things: to be boxed, to use for staging, and essentials to keep out. OK? Box. Staging. Essentials. Keep those three words in your head as you are sorting.” She was stunned at how instantly empowering these three words made her feel over her home.
Over the years I've "prescribed" many mantras to clients who needed just a few simple words to cut through the chaos. Here are some others that come to mind:
Shelves or drawers?
These were the guiding words I came to use in the project pictured above. I recently traveled to Naples, FL to work with a client. I was quick to realize that every paper in her office (if it was to be kept) would only be stored in file boxes on shelves or in the file drawers. With so much unsorted and piled out in the open, it was hard for her to see "shelves or drawers" as the most useful question to ask herself. She needed a lot of paper to remain visible on shelves instead of hidden as archives in the drawers. As soon as I started asking her this on repeat, she was remarkably decisive! Hundreds of "shelves or drawers?" later, 30 years of paper found the trash or its home.
Shelves or drawers might not be your destinations, so determine what yours are and try repeating "hidden or out?" or "this room or other room?" or "action or hidden?" What is your "this vs that" question?
Leave no trace.
This came up in a recent virtual coaching session as a client and I were discussing how to at least keep her home from backsliding. She of course strives for bigger progress (and she's made it), but some days she just needs to not carry today's messes into tomorrow. She has a great love of the outdoors and wilderness education. "Leave no trace" is ingrained in her to be a steward of the environment, so we adopted it for home too. If she could just "leave no trace" in the kitchen every night, the dishes would never pile up.
Let's finish this first.
Can you relate to my clients who commonly bounce from task to task? We'll be designating categories for step rack files when locating the label maker sends them into a deep purge of the supply cabinet. Or, we may be clearing off a space in front of the laptop when unearthing that unpaid bill sends them online to update all of their online billing. This is when I politely say, "Let's finish this first." These four little words immediately straighten our path.
Clients often tell me they have trouble getting started. What I've come to notice is that the real culprit isn't getting started on an organizing project, but rather, finishing the one that has been started. When eight projects are started and none are finished, it gives the illusion of nothing being started. Let completion be your goal. "Let's finish this first" is all it takes for my clients to sit back down and give that almost-done task the last five minutes it needs. Next time you find yourself a little over-motivated, say it out loud. It's what you'd hear from me if I were sitting right next to you.
Just get one step closer.
Another common culprit in organizing is the urge to complete every project 100% in the moment. I have a lot of sessions, especially in the beginning, where all we do is group like with like. Clients tell me though that they are resistant to bringing one more thing to the messy closet or messy file drawer because they feel they are making it worse. If they can't fix the closet or file drawer that red hot minute, they'd rather not add anything to it. If we didn't make some spaces messier before we fixed them, nothing would ever move. Your home would feel stagnant.
For example, recently in a client's home, we found several things in a junk room that belonged in the basement. She feared putting things in the basement because it had its own issues... At one point I think I said, "Just throw it down the stairs - it's fine! Let's keep it moving!" When she (or I) organize the basement one day, we'll be glad that we're working with everything that needs to be addressed, not fearing finding "basement" things still spread out across the house.
Translated to paper, people sometimes struggle with creating "sort later" piles. When you have hundreds or thousands of papers to sort, it's impossible to permanently house every paper the moment you touch it. It takes some discipline to create temporary piles such as "Medical", "Morgan Stanley", "IRS", "Kitchen renovation", etc. Taking one step for now instead of taking all the steps allows you to keep moving at a steady clip. Though it's not pretty, stuffing like paper together is getting one step closer. I'd rather you deal with an overstuffed "Dental" file that is complete than live with dental docs being in 9 different places.
What's reasonable?
I once had a client in Texas who needed help with her supply room for all things outdoors and survival. She's a self-described "prepper." After one of my trips to work with her, she emailed:
"Nothing that I got rid of when we worked together was missed during the pandemic or winter storm. I continue to hear your words as I continue to declutter: 'Keep a REASONABLE amount.' That helps me to replay that in my head. When it comes to prepper stuff, I keep what is reasonable for those scenarios. You’re a great influence on me."
I vividly remember first asking her "What's reasonable?" as we tried to whittle down her water bottles. She had dozens for her and her husband. For her to come up with her own answer was more effective than me telling her how many to keep. It's not up to us to say whether or not she's an over-prepped prepper. We all have different definitions of "enough" or "reasonable" and it's my job to help people define and realize that for themselves. What's a reasonable amount of X for you? Just ask yourself this question for every category and the answer will come.
What does "done" look like?
This question came up in a recent coaching conversation around boundaries and organizing. When someone has countless tasks and organizing projects, it's easy to never feel "done." The work and guilt creeps into all parts of life, leaving you feeling like you'll never get it done. The good and bad news is - you'll never get it all done! (I once learned from a spiritual teacher that done = dead.) Your work must become how to define "done" along the way. Before sitting down at your desk or approaching your to-do list or cleaning a basement that could take weeks, ask yourself first "What does done for today look like?" There are many opportunities to reach "done" before the entire home is organized. It could be as simple as "'Done' today looks like all of my mail is opened" or " 'Done' today is when my timer goes off in 25 minutes."
Do you already have an existing mantra or guiding set of words to focus you as you organize? Do any of these resonate with you? Please share in the comments.
